I’m a dual citizen in flux,
suspended between two countries; the new
and the old.
Which do I choose?
I really have the whole world
at my feet but
money is an obstacle so I’ll limit myself
to just two countries,
that way I can be torn neatly in half.
This dual citizenship means I have
but it also means I could have
two homes if I wanted,
I could reject my mother country
with a teenager’s roll of the eyes
and run to my new unknown country,
because we are all children
who never cease to be
fascinated by the unknown and
what could be more exciting
than accumulating an immense collection of things
or have seen
or thought of?
I want to fill up my scrapbook with
only new things,
no relics from the past,
for although I admire the things I have
come to know
I am more drawn to those I don’t know yet.
Those people I haven’t met yet.
Those lessons I don’t know yet.
I need to stick my hand into the flame
to feel its heat before
I can know what fire is.
But right now
my flame is flickering in all directions,
creating shadow demons and illusions.
This is all maya, and
it’s all transitory,
for that was one of the first things my
mother taught me, that
this too shall pass.
But right now
I’m a dual citizen
and either choice is going to hurt me,
it will hurt and I know
scars heal and I know
friendships fade and I know
this won’t matter to me one day
but right now