Dual flux

pass

I’m a dual citizen in flux,

suspended between two countries; the new

and the old.

Which do I choose?

I really have the whole world

at my feet but

money is an obstacle so I’ll limit myself

to just two countries,

that way I can be torn neatly in half.

This dual citizenship means I have

two passports

but it also means I could have

two homes if I wanted,

I could reject my mother country

with a teenager’s roll of the eyes

and run to my new unknown country,

because we are all children

who never cease to be

fascinated by the unknown and

what could be more exciting

than accumulating an immense collection of things

you know,

or have seen

or heard

or read

or tasted

or thought of?

I want to fill up my scrapbook with

only new things,

no relics from the past,

for although I admire the things I have

come to know

I am more drawn to those I don’t know yet.

Those people I haven’t met yet.

Those lessons I don’t know yet.

I need to stick my hand into the flame

to feel its heat before

I can know what fire is.

But right now

my flame is flickering in all directions,

creating shadow demons and illusions.

This is all maya, and

it’s all transitory,

for that was one of the first things my

mother taught me, that

this too shall pass.

But right now

I’m a dual citizen

and either choice is going to hurt me,

it will hurt and I know

scars heal and I know

friendships fade and I know

this won’t matter to me one day

but right now

it does.

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